2008-03-09
When He Seems to Good to Be True
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I find myself in a position to follow some of my own advice. Remember How to Get the Guy...Advice for the Ladies? Remember that part in Get a Life where I told you that if a guy wants you there every time, all the time, you should run like hell? Uh huh. Well, I was having a nice email conversation with a guy the other day. I explained that I believed a woman should have a life outside of her man.
Specifically, I said, "And yet, I'm independent enough to not want to be smothered. Too much of a good thing can sometimes become a bad thing. I'm still the girl who values her alone time and is secure enough to have a life outside of her man."
His response was this:
"To me, a majority of time should be spent together. Yes, like Peter Cetera said: "even lovers need a holiday far away from the ones that they love". I'm just trying to nail down what is the exception and what is the rule.
You're in my blood, Lisa. I could walk away from you now and be fine, yes. We could even get to know each other a little better and I could maintain that balance. But if this is to be a prolonged affair I'm not sure how well I could reign my emotions in and keep them in check. Its impossible for me to predict at this point. What I know is that I'm crazy about you and you..."thoughts" of you..."hopes" about you....give me fever.
You intoxicate me. I cant stop drinking..."
Whoa dude! I've never met the man and this was after only 3 or 4 emails. Are you kidding me? If this doesn't say run like hell, I'm damned if I know what does.
I know. Every girl loves those flowery, romantic words. Right? Well, maybe. On the other hand, how can he possibly be crazy about me and be having 'thoughts' and 'hopes?' He doesn't even know me. He hasn't spent one single moment of time with me, has never looked into my eyes, felt me gaze into his. Nada. Nothing.
One of three things is happening here.
First, he's trying to hook me. He's looking for someone he can draw in and do what he wishes with. He believes that the sweet, romantic words will do just that. Perhaps he believes that I'm one of those women who is so desperate for love and attention that sweet words will have me falling at his feet.
Second, he's not even close to who he says he is. He's a fake, a liar, a predator. In this case, his motives are anyone's guess.
Or a third possibility. That he is that lonely, that desperate, that vulnerable and needs to have a woman swooning over him.
Whatever the case, if he seems to good to be true, he probably is. One of the most valuable pieces of online dating advice is trust your instincts. This guy has my gut telling me he's bad news. Done. Next!
You're in my blood, Lisa. I could walk away from you now and be fine, yes. We could even get to know each other a little better and I could maintain that balance. But if this is to be a prolonged affair I'm not sure how well I could reign my emotions in and keep them in check. Its impossible for me to predict at this point. What I know is that I'm crazy about you and you..."thoughts" of you..."hopes" about you....give me fever.
You intoxicate me. I cant stop drinking..."
Whoa dude! I've never met the man and this was after only 3 or 4 emails. Are you kidding me? If this doesn't say run like hell, I'm damned if I know what does.
I know. Every girl loves those flowery, romantic words. Right? Well, maybe. On the other hand, how can he possibly be crazy about me and be having 'thoughts' and 'hopes?' He doesn't even know me. He hasn't spent one single moment of time with me, has never looked into my eyes, felt me gaze into his. Nada. Nothing.
One of three things is happening here.
First, he's trying to hook me. He's looking for someone he can draw in and do what he wishes with. He believes that the sweet, romantic words will do just that. Perhaps he believes that I'm one of those women who is so desperate for love and attention that sweet words will have me falling at his feet.
Second, he's not even close to who he says he is. He's a fake, a liar, a predator. In this case, his motives are anyone's guess.
Or a third possibility. That he is that lonely, that desperate, that vulnerable and needs to have a woman swooning over him.
Whatever the case, if he seems to good to be true, he probably is. One of the most valuable pieces of online dating advice is trust your instincts. This guy has my gut telling me he's bad news. Done. Next!
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