40s Singleness-Dating in Your 40s

One of the biggest dating myths out there is that women actually like to date men who are jerks. On my post from Friday, How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk, Anthony left this comment:

At the end of the day, don't women love jerks? Isn't that the guy she is most attracted, the jerk that is. Nice guys with chicks always finish last. Wouldn't you agree?

No, Anthony, I definitely would not agree. I mean think about that a minute. Why would a woman choose to be treated like crap? It makes absolutely makes no sense. It's like saying that we want to get beat or cheated on or stood up or disrespected.

And then take it step further and turn it around. What if we said that men are attracted to cold-hearted bitches. Does that make sense? Would a man prefer to be with a woman who treats him like crap? I don't think so.

At the end of the day, no one wants to be treated badly. Man or woman, we want to be treated with love, kindness, and respect.

Now, that's not to say that for many reasons there aren't women, and men, who constantly seem to fall for the jerk. There are. But it's not because they like jerks or they enjoy being belittled and treated like they're undeserving of love.

Not even a little bit. It's because, for whatever reason, they believe deep down that they deserve just that. Maybe they think they're not good enough or that they have past sins to pay for.

The truth of the matter is, again, self love. Women, and men, who don't love themselves and believe that they are not worthy or deserving attract partners who reinforce that. Period. Once we are able to clear those negative beliefs and love ourselves, we attract the same; someone who loves us. Then we find the relationship, and the man, we're looking for.

And don't even get me started on the 'nice guy!'

***UPDATE***
I just received a newsletter from Joe Vitale about relationships. In it Joe says,

Your relationship to other people and to your own life
starts with how you relate to yourself. When you don't feel
good about yourself or believe in your capacity, you attract
more people, situations, and circumstances into your life
that make you feel bad about yourself and prove you can't
accomplish things.

It's just so true kids!