40s Singleness-Dating in Your 40s

According to the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services:

"Dating violence is when one person purposely causes physical or psychological harm to another person they are dating, including sexual assault, physical abuse, and psychological/emotional abuse. It is a serious crime that occurs in both casual and serious relationships, and in both heterosexual and same-sex relationships."

In some cases victims are given a 'date rape' drug such as Rohypnol rendering the victim unable to fight or, in some cases, even remember the attack. Such drugs are many times slipped into a drink in a club or some kind of social setting.

The general public is usually unaware of how often dating violence occurs. According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC),

• 1 in 11 adolescents reports being a victim of physical dating abuse (CDC 2006).

• 1 in 4 adolescents reports verbal, physical, emotional, or sexual abuse each year (Foshee et al. 1996; Avery-Leaf et al. 1997).

• 1 in 5 adolescents reports being a victim of emotional abuse (Halpern et al. 2001).

• 1 in 5 high school girls has been physically or sexually abused by a dating partner (Silverman et al. 2001).

• Dating abuse occurs more frequently among black students (13.9%) than among Hispanic (9.3%) or white (7.0%) students (CDC 2006).

• 72% of eighth and ninth graders reportedly “date” (Foshee et al. 1996); by the time they are in high school, 54% of students report dating abuse among their peers (Jafe et al. 1992).

As you can see the numbers are shocking! But date rape is not the only kind of dating violence. In addition to date rape, dating violence can include physical abuse, sexual abuse within a relationship and mental/emotional abuse. Many times these situations can be a damaging to a victim as rape.

This I can speak to from experience. In cases of emotional abuse, victims are made to feel inferior and worthless. They are treated with disrespect and disdain and controlled in the relationship. Many times they are cut off from family and friends leaving no support group.

You can help by purchasing a "One Million. One at a time." commerative candle, donating $1 in honor of one caller to the Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network hotline, or by sending an ecard to help spread the word. They also have a monthly giving program. Visit RAINN for more information.

On a personal level, reach out to victims of dating abuse in your family or circle of friends. Call them, support them, reach out to them. Don't let them push you away. They need you!

By the way, do you love the "Stop Violence Against Women" badge? I found it over at my girl Frizzy's blog, imperfection@itsfinest. You can get your own by clicking on it!